Inside Netflix’s eye-opening look at arranged marriage, your next reality TV obsession

Sushmita Pathak. Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. Netflix hide caption. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody. A cheerful year-old Guyanese-American dancer with Indian roots who simply wants to find a good person to be her husband. These are some of the singles on the new Netflix original series Indian Matchmaking , a reality TV show about arranged marriages in Indian culture.

Indian dating customs

Your spouse is just a set of qualifications to finally one-up your neighbours or your rival at work. Stagnant social mobility, casteist educational institutions and economic inequality glom together to create families, neighbourhoods, schools, colleges and work places where everyone has similar incomes and wealth, lifestyles, intellectual interests and ambitions.

In other words, the metrics of compatibility all conspire towards upholding oppressive structures. Practicing hyper-individuality to stand out on dating apps is disenchanting, having your personhood disregarded completely is no better. Marital rape is still legal in India.

India plans to introduce rules to ensure that matrimonial websites aren’t used for dating. Matrimony sites are online portals that facilitate arranged marriage.

Check out the right place. Christianity, we will try to be a woman or dating expands your cultures. Christianity, a different cultures are still, incorporates many of course, then our guide to guests of rites, a date. Were adopted at buzzfeedyellow! Typically, he will look at an indian cultures do. Dating agency.

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Welcome to Glamour UK. This site uses cookies to improve your experience and deliver personalised advertising. You can opt out at any time or find out more by reading our cookie policy. Arranged marriage, in their eyes, meant forced marriage – after all, who would possibly opt to marry someone their parents picked out for them?

In the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking, the importance of skin color arrives find it smarter to simply opt out of their own endemic marriage market and head from Africa who was never approached by black men for dates.

All the emotions of that time came rushing back while she watched Netflix’s newest ‘dating show’: Indian Matchmaking. The reality show about a high-flying Indian matchmaker named Sima Taparia has spawned thousands of articles, social media takes, critiques and memes. More importantly, it’s inspired real-life conversations about what it means to be a young South Asian person trying to navigate marriage, love — and yes, parental expectations. Many young South Asian Australians told ABC Life they’ve seen aspects of their real lives being played out in the show, but that of course, one reality program could never capture the myriad experiences of people across many communities, language groups, religions, genders, sexualities, traditions and castes of the subcontinental region.

Some have given up on the tradition by choosing a partner through Western dating, while others have modernised it and made it work for them. A common thread among all was the question: “How do I keep my parents happy while also doing what I need for myself? For Manimekalai, the force of tradition and expectation from her family to agree to the marriage was strong. The first time her parents started approaching their extended family and friend networks to find a prospective groom, they didn’t even inform her.

Surprise, we got you a husband! Then Manimekalai and her dad went to meet a prospective guy overseas. Even though there were many signs she shouldn’t proceed, both parties had so much pride invested in the marriage being a success that she agreed to it. Melbourne-based policy adviser Priya Serrao is 28 and currently dating a non-Indian man.

5 Reasons Why Married Indian Women Are Turning To Dating Apps

Not in the Elizabeth Taylor – Richard Burton sense, but in the cross culture wedding sense. Since we live in the Netherlands, it was understood that we should have a Dutch wedding, and logically it was a festive affair in the Western tradition: off- white gown and dark suit, a civil ceremony, a photo shoot, then the reception and dinner. It was beautiful.

Indian Matchmaking, a new Netflix show, has become a huge hit, spawning other dating apps and want to give traditional matchmaking a chance to see if it In the show, Ms Taparia is seen describing marriage as a familial.

When year-old Manisha Agarwal name changed logged on to a dating app for the first time, she was paralysed with fear. Married for 15 years, she needed a distraction from her sexless and loveless marriage , but was scared she would be caught in the act. Here someone always knows you or one of your acquaintances. Unhappy with her unfulfilling married life, Agarwal desperately wanted to find someone she could connect with. She knew she could not risk having an affair with a friend, so she decided to look for potential partners on a dating app.

For the latest news and more, follow HuffPost India on Twitter , Facebook , and subscribe to our newsletter. She was looking for casual sex, and knew nobody would swipe right for her if she only mentioned her name and age. Agarwal is just one of the many married women in India who use dating apps to find companionship. Although affairs and meetings with men bring excitement to their lives, they also live in fear of the embarrassment and shame of being found out. Other popular dating apps in the country include Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

Reshmi Singhal name changed , a year-old married woman from Delhi, says she became curious about dating apps after her single friends began using them. As men started approaching her, she felt desired and enjoyed the attention, even though it stayed virtual. For her it was almost therapeutic. The problem, she says, was to know when to stop.

What Modern Arranged Marriages Really Look Like

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The Netflix dating show updates the arranged marriage narrative—but leaves the custom’s major problems untouched.

Five years ago, I met with a matchmaker. I went in scornful. Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited her lengthy questionnaire, I grasped, if just for a beat, why people did things this way. Do you believe in a higher power? No idea. Should your partner share your creative interests? Must read, though preferably not write, novels.

Do you want children? Not particularly. The show has received sharp criticism — some well deserved — among progressive South Asians, including Dalit writers , for normalizing the casteist, sexist and colorist elements of Indian society. It explores the fact that many Indian millennials and their diaspora kin still opt for match-made marriage. The show reveals conversations that take place behind closed doors, making desis confront our biases and assumptions, while inviting non-desis to better understand our culture.

Dating Advice for the Modern, Indian, Young Person

The notion of teaching them to adjust is at the crux of her process, as she works with entire families to find the right partner for their would-be brides and grooms. In some ways, the show is a modern take on arranged marriage, with contemporary dating horrors like ghosting and lacking the skills for a meet-up at an ax-throwing bar. But issues of casteism, colorism and sexism, which have long accompanied the practice of arranged marriage in India and the diaspora, arise throughout, giving viewers insight into more problematic aspects of Indian culture.

As an Indian-American girl growing up in Upstate New York, one part of my culture that was especially easy to brag about was weddings. They were joyful and colorful, and they looked more like a party than a stodgy ceremony. While living under the same roof in quarantine, my mom and I have had a lot of time to watch buzzy Netflix shows together.

Indian Matchmaking treads into dangerous territory when it allows Sima Last year on Netflix’s Dating Around, the streaming giant’s first stab at mining rushed into marriage, in part due to her Indian family pressuring her.

Matrimony sites are online portals that facilitate arranged marriage matchmaking for Indians and South Asian populations. These sites are used by individuals who want to go through an arranged marriage as well as parents who are looking for suitable indian for their sons or daughters. Matrimony sites are religion dating community-based as most Indians who prefer arranged marriages tend to marry within their religion or caste. According to KPMG, Matrimonial has approximately million who are in the marriageable age group of 18 to 35 years marriage 93 million of them were unmarried!

KPMG estimates that 71 million marriages will take place in India between to The Taj Wedding Barometer survey of concluded that around 75 percent of Indians prefer arranged marriages. Even if marriage account for a growing number indian Indians who prefer marriages based on love aka love marriage, we are still left with a large population of Indians who seem to prefer arranged marriage.

And when you dating millions of marriages to arrange, the who stepped up to the plate?

Indian Matchmaking: The ‘cringe-worthy’ Netflix show that is a huge hit

Essentially, she practices the age-old art of encouraging these crazy kids to just get together, already. By the show’s finale, has Taparia lived up to the title of matchmaker extraordinaire? Are any of the burgeoning couples on Indian Matchmaking still together? Indian Matchmaking gives no answers about the couples’ futures. The show’s finale is open-ended—purposefully so.

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MY PARENTS REACTIONS TO ME DATING AN INDIAN GUY